I try to write about things that are relevant to the people at FF; experiences I have learned through my own life, and sometimes wisdom learned through friends and theirs. Oftentimes advice comes from the most random people, and even in the most unexpected places.
My fraternity has given me the privilege of connecting with some incredible and diverse gentleman. The conversations I have with my brothers will often guide my thoughts forever. One of those conversations, with one of those incredible brothers, was at a bar with Mark Perkins.
Mark and myself, already two talkative guys, had had a few drinks and got to really talking…specifically about success. Mark is one of those guys you know will be great, at whatever he does, so when he talks… I listen. When the question came up of what success meant to him, his answer was simple yet impactful. “Success to me is never having to say no.”
Huh? Let me break this down for you, because I have fully embraced that mindset. What I think he meant by that, and what I took from it, was really quite simple:
If your friends want you to go out of town for a weekend, and you have to say no, money is inhibiting you living your life the way you want to. If you can’t afford to fly home for Christmas, money is inhibiting your life. Success to me is living your life the way you want to, and not allowing money to deny you of doing so. Look at it this way, money is access… to the memories and experiences we desire.
The flip side of this: greed. You have to want to be successful for the right reasons, and not want things you truly don’t need. My grandpa said it best "I don't need to drive a Mercedes, knowing that I have the money to buy one is enough for me. My father has spent every day of his life working to make money which he spends on me and my dreams.
Trust me, I want it all. But not for me, for the people around me, my family. I am more than happy with my Yellow Jeep and small condo in Arizona. What I do want is to have the money to fly and see my family when I miss them, to buy my brother that Dodge Viper he’s been talking about since he was 8, buy my parents that house in sunny Arizona, and pay for my little brothers’ to go to college. Those things are dreams of the people who I care about that are simply inhibited by money
The next piece of success, at least my definition of it, has nothing to do with monetary value of any sort. This definition of success, I have learned through my own experiences and interpretations: the importance of a wife.
I may have grown up in a simple place with some old fashioned beliefs, but I still live by the values created in the atmosphere of a strong family. And that atmosphere, that success, it starts with the right partner. I feel like by finding the right wife, and creating the right team, then you can truly achieve all that you want in life. By creating a positive environment for your family, you are consequently starting the same cycle for your kids. My family was far from wealthy growing up, but my dad found ways to create some incredible memories. Like bringing us to Legoland or Disney World despite our situation. Or literally driving/flying to every track race I ever ran in. He built us Fords Fort in our backyard, with a few dollars and his own hard work. My mom always made birthdays and holidays a big deal, not to mention her favorite way of showing love: cookies and baked goods. Love you too Dixie (she just got a computer the other day so I know she is reading this... I am beyond proud of her and the random skype calls I get =D ).
Life gets crazy sometimes, it is inevitable, and I’ve found some of the most difficult times for me have been when I am simply alone. With a solid woman in your life, your foundation, I think that team attitude can attack anything life throws at you. I think with the perfect wife comes a perfect family, and for me…the perfect life. Trust me, I know its not that easy, and I am far from a patient guy, but you better believe I will be with the next women I bring into my life. Call me an idealist, but that is one thing I will never settle on, I will find the perfect woman for me. I will find my success.
I will step down from my soapbox, and close up my thoughts for the day. I am broke, I am 24, I am single, and far from marriage. But you have to define success in order to take the steps to achieve it, right?
So now you know what gets me up in the morning when that snooze button sounds so good…what does success mean to you? And are you currently taking the steps to achieve it?
Keep your head up like your nose is bleedin'
TJF
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| Princess, if you don't know...now you know. |
