I feel like each and every one of the members at Fords Fort should carry some pride in my posts, because each of you has helped guide my words, even without realizing it. From the conversations I’ve had with my track buddies on Saturday long runs, to my fraternity brothers sharing memories on a retreat, even words exchanged with a stranger on a plane. My conversations with you end up building my philosophies on life, and in turn my blog’s at FF. Our interactions with each other will inevitably shape some aspect of our future, whether we realize it or not.
Butterfly effect: the phenomenon whereby a small change at one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere.
Self-Esteem
From the day we are born we define ourselves by the messages we receive from the people around us.
I for one am a victim of my past. From my life to my relationships, my history will indefinitely affect me. My buddy Zeke and I shared countless miles running together as we discussed “life.” One of the most meaningful philosophies we developed was “It’s not what it is, it’s what it seems to be.” Think about that for a second…
What we mean by that is perception becomes reality, people are incredibly judgmental and you truly don’t have the opportunity to explain or defend yourself. I will use myself as an example because most of my life the image I have projected has been far from the truth. Even today I come across as confident and happy, and for the most part I strive to be both, but it hasn’t always been that way. My childhood was quite different. There was a time where I kept some painful and hurtful feelings from my friends and family and took it out on myself. It is not comfortable for me to talk about these things, and to this day I have a journal I simply won’t open, but I do this today so that you can step back and realize…if Taylor, one of the happiest guys in the world can hide pain behind a smile…imagine how many people you encounter are doing the same daily?
Think of all the people we come in contact with on a daily basis, some of which we may not be the nicest to. Your words, your actions, and that moment could be what sets them off. Good or bad, our actions can mean the world to someone or even ruin theirs. (I know some beautiful young women who make my day by something as simple as a smile…okay back to the topic…) Making a statement about someone being overweight, unpretty, unintelligent, all of which could carry with someone for the rest of their lives
My lesson learned here is quite simple, often we can be oblivious to how heavily impacted the people around us can be by our actions towards them, especially to young kids at such defining ages. Today may be the worst day of their lives, are you going to be the guy asking them how they are doing…or are you going to be the guy that was the last straw before they do something outrageous to get attention?
Relationships
I can’t tell you how many women I have met that I just couldn’t quite figure out. I would compare women to a puzzle, and some women have such a deep dark history of repressed memories that have significantly defined the person they are today. The way they treat you, the way they define men, the way they react to love or push themselves away from it. I tried and tried to understand one girl in particular, but this puzzle was impossible; she was simply hiding some of the pieces of the puzzle from me. Later when she explained a piece of her childhood, every past action was suddenly clear and understood. To say the word baggage would carry a negative connotation, so I will refer to their past events and developed current state as scars. These scars are there for good, period. Some women have been disrespected, hurt, or unappreciated. These scars are part of them, and unchangeable…you can’t remove them…you can only hope you are fortunate enough to earn their trust and hear their story; helping you understand the effect it had on who you know today. We as people define the world around us by our past experiences... Love is vulnerability, and if a series of men have broken a young lady’s heart in the past, the next man is inevitably fighting an uphill battle that he had no part in creating.
Aberdeen to Phoenix
People often ask me what is the difference between Aberdeen, South Dakota and Phoenix, Arizona. The simple answer: the people. A place like Aberdeen is full of good people, doing good things. I personally think that humans in nature have compassion and want to help others. This compassion is lost when someone hurts/burns/disrespects/or takes advantage of them. After that…their trust is gone and they no longer look out for others and simply look out for themselves. Aberdeen still has compassionate people, where as a place like Phoenix (or any other large metropolis) is full of people looking out for themselves. It is a vicious cycle: a good person gets burned and decides to look out for themselves going forward. Don’t get me wrong, Phoenix has some incredible people who do some truly great things…but the general mentality is “I’m looking out for me.” Sadly, a place like Aberdeen seems to be a thing of the past…unless we choose to stop the cycle, everyday.
The world is a small place, and your actions DEFINITELY have an impact on the people around you…
Be careful of your words be aware of the implications…If you are going to make a ripple in this world, why not make it a good one?
Keep your head up like your nose is bleedin',
TJF
